Author : William Stewart
reprinted from “…And They Shall Become One Flesh” available on Amazon.com in Kindle format.
And all the people who were at the gate, and the elders, said, ‘We are witnesses. The LORD make the woman who is coming to your house like Rachel and Leah, the two who built the house of Israel; and may you prosper in Ephrathah and be famous in Bethlehem. (Ruth 4:11)
Character – A Relationship Building Block
We had noted in a previous study the benefit of having a good character. In learning about Boaz and Ruth, we find two individuals of outstanding character. We can learn a great deal about someone by the decisions they make and the habits which they have. Prior to Boaz and Ruth marrying, we find wonderful characteristics in both of them; characteristics which would help to make their marriage successful.
Consider the character of Ruth:
-
Faithfulness (Ruth 1:16-17)
- Faith in God (Ruth 1:16)
- Diligence (Ruth 2:2, 7, 11, 17)
- Humility (Ruth 2:10)
- Selflessness (Ruth 2:14)
- Obedience (Ruth 3:5)
Consider the character of Boaz:
- Faith in God (Ruth 2:4)
- Protective (Ruth 2:8-9)
- Attentiveness (Ruth 2:11)
- Compassion (Ruth 2:14-16)
- Honourable (Ruth 3:10-13)
- Diligence (Ruth 3:18)
An individual’s character before entering marriage is a good indication of what he or she will be like in the marriage. The marriage relationship does not magically turn bad people into good people; nor good into bad. Thus, it is vitally important to know the character of the person you seek to marry.
It does sometimes happen though, that through familiarity or laziness, we fail to maintain the same measure of goodness towards our spouse that we did in the beginning or currently show to others. This should not be. Our spouse should experience the best of all our qualities. In the most successful marriages, the husband and wife give their best to one another and bring out the best in each other. In marriages that fail, the husband and wife tend to mistreat one another and bring out the worst in their partner.
An Appeal That Can’t Be Refused
The redemption of the inheritance of Elimelech, Naomi’s deceased husband, is a major theme in the book of Ruth. Ruth and Boaz’ marriage affected people other than themselves. In fact, they likely would never have met let alone married, had it not been for the issue of Elimelech’s inheritance in Israel.
Boaz and Ruth, who came from two very different world, and who met, not through social pursuits, but through cultural necessity, had a successful marriage. Is it not alarming that so many marriages in our society, established on social interaction (dating), fail? What makes for the difference? Mighty it simply be this, that Boaz and Ruth entered the relationship (and continued in it) maintaining a high degree of integrity and mutual respect? It goes back to the moral character of the participants. Two cannot truly be one flesh if they do not share the same focus for their lives and marriage.
It is custom in most societies for the man to ask for the woman’s hand in marriage. With Boaz and Ruth, it was more a case of the woman asking for the man’s feet in marriage (Ruth 3:4, 7-9). It was Ruth who proposed to Boaz,
“Take your maidservant under your wing, for you are a close relative.”
Immediately, he commended her for the kindness she displayed to Naomi, for her respect of their laws, and for the fact that she came to him, rather than selfishly pursuing some young man for herself (Ruth 3:10-11). Again, the wonderful qualities which had already impressed him about her were evident, as this virtuous woman came asking for marriage.
Blessing Expected
When two people enter a marriage relationship with pure and sincere hearts, both focused on doing what is good before the Lord, the marriage will flourish. Such was the case for Boaz and Ruth. They would be blessed in their lives together, and God would use them to be a blessing to others, even to us today, as Ruth’s great-grandson was David, from whom the Christ would come.
The people of Bethlehem specifically pronounced great blessings upon Boaz and Ruth. Among them, we find:
- Ruth being compared with the women from whom the nation began (Ruth 4:11)
- They were compared with Perez, a direct ancestor of many in Bethlehem (Ruth 4:12)
- They were wished fame in Bethlehem and all Israel (Ruth 4:11, 14)
Against The Grain
There are several things about the marriage of Boaz and Ruth which were certainly contrary to the norm. In fact, these facts about their relationship were taboo, and even in our day still cause offense to many. Consider:
- Cultural Differences – Boaz was an Israelite; Ruth was a Moabite. The book of Ruth does not speak of any detractors, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t there. Today, some are opposed to marriages involving people from different cultures or with different skin colour. Friend, there is one race, not many – human. And the colour of a person’s skin should be as important to the acceptability and success of a marriage as the colour of a person’s eyes.
- Age Differences – We don’t know their respective ages, but we do know that Boaz commended Ruth for not turning to a young man. The inference is that Boaz was not just a few years, but considerably older than Ruth. I wonder if they had anyone say behind their back, “He’s old enough to be her father!” So long as the parties involved are eligible to marry one another, age should be of no consequence.
- A Marriage Of Duty – The word love appears just once in Ruth; speaking of her love for her mother-in-law (Ruth 4:15). The couple’s love for each other is evident through the details given in the book, yet the catalyst for their marriage was duty, not love. Their marriage redeemed all that belonged to Elimelech and his sons Chilion and Mahlon (Ruth 4:7-10). The idea of an arranged marriage is beyond strange to most people today. And yet the key to a successful marriage is not the modern dating process or courting, but a commitment in both husband and wife to one another and to their God-given role.
- Ruth Proposed – It was Ruth who went to Boaz and requested that he marry her. There are several references to a man taking a wife in the Old Testament (Genesis 24:3; 27:46; Leviticus 21:13; Deuteronomy 24:1; etc.), but never do we find a woman taking a husband. And yet, essentially, that is what Ruth did! Many today (not all), would think such to be out of place, brash, brazen and too bold. Whether the man or the woman pop the question, both still need to agree. If it were not the right situation for Boaz, he’d have simply said no. He didn’t.
- A Premarital Night Together – After Ruth asked Boaz to marry her, rather than send her home in the dark, Boaz permitted her to remain with him, but they both acted with integrity. He made sure that her return home in the morning was discreet (Ruth 3:14). In our society, there have been too many discreet morning departures which followed a night lacking integrity. Couples need to keep themselves sexually pure before marrying. To the best of their ability, a couple need to avoid opportunities for lust to take them into realms that are reserved for the marriage bed. Ruth and Boaz’ situation was unique, unlikely to be repeated today. And yet it is entirely possible that a couple could get “stuck” together overnight due to a natural disaster or some other unforeseen situation. If so, may they keep themselves pure, and act according to the integrity of their hearts throughout the night.
