Author : William Stewart
reprinted from “…And They Shall Become One Flesh” available on Amazon.com in Kindle format.
Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with precious and pleasant riches. (Proverbs 24:34)
His Money / Her Money
There is a money and marriage trend in our society which is both disturbing and contrary to the message of the Scriptures – the separation of a household’s money into “his money” and “her money.” This has perhaps come in part due to the rise of two income households, though such is certainly not new (consider the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31).
Genesis 2:24 states of the man and his wife, that “…the two shall become one flesh…” How does the separation of money fit with this basic precept of marriage? No longer is it his and her’s – it is now our’s. The apostle Paul stressed this to be the case with regard to the sharing of affection within the marital relationship. He wrote: “Let the husband render to the wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” (1 Corinthians 7:3-4)
If authority over our own body is given to the spouse, how foolish to think that we should maintain exclusive authority over “our own money.” Which is greater, your body or your money?
We are not saying that each spouse cannot have their own separate spending money, as established by a budget. But, before it becomes “my money,” it has been “our money,” and “our budget” has appointed a certain portion to each of us for our own personal use (ie. not groceries, car repairs, etc.).
Effective Planning
Alan Lakein, author of “How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life” is credited with saying, “Failing to plan is planning to fail.” It is important that we establish a plan for all aspects of our life. In the realm of finances, we call this a budget.
The Bible emphasizes the need for planning (Proverbs 11:14; 15:22; 20:18; 24:6). Though these texts primarily address planning with regard to military action, the importance of such is no different for personal finance. One is forethought and preparation for the effective use of equipment and personnel; the other is forethought and preparation for the effective use of money.
Personal finance expert, Dave Ramsey has stated:
The very first place counsel should be sought is in your home. Yes, your spouse does have a brain and one that may even work better than yours. The traditional sexist relationship where the wife is not involved in matters of money is not only shortsighted, it is also just plain dumb. On the other hand, the “modern” woman who allows her husband to completely dump all the finances on her is not only being mistreated, she is also missing out on basic opportunities of communication in a good marriage. (Financial Peace, Dave Ramsey, p. 193-194)
An effective budget will take into consideration all the NEEDS of all the members of the household. When developing our budget, we need to be sure that the Lord is included in it (Proverbs 15:22; 16:1-3). And God’s place in our budget is not an afterthought, but the first place (Proverbs 3:9).
Stewards Of God’s Goods
The blessings which we enjoy have been entrusted to us by God. He desires that we be faithful stewards of all that He has given, and that certainly includes our finances. Part of good stewardship is to have a plan, as discussed above. This plan and stewardship are not the husband’s responsibility, nor the wife’s responsibility – it is for both.
There are five general areas of responsibility with regard to finances. They are:
- giving to the Lord
- providing for your family
- paying bills and debts
- helping others in need
- entertainment and leisure
It is not appropriate to leave any of these undone. God’s word addresses each of them:
- God is to receive the firstfruits (Proverbs 3:9) of our increase, not the leftovers.
- One who will not provide for his family has “…denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever…” (1 Timothy 5:8)
- It is wickedness to borrow and not repay (Psalm 37:21).
- Paul indicated that when the opportunity (and by necessity, the ability) is available, we should “…do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith…” (Galatians 6:10)
- And finally, Solomon correctly stated that “…it is good and fitting for one … to enjoy the good of all his labor…” (Ecclesiastes 5:18).
What is absolutely important for us to do, if we are to be faithful stewards, is to prioritize these various monetary tasks correctly. For an individual, this is an individual responsibility; for the married couple, this is a mutual responsibility.
Jesus asked the question, “…if you have not been faithful in unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the truth riches?” (Luke 16:11)
We must be faithful steward in the here and now, if we expect to be entrusted with the riches of the hereafter.
