Author : William Stewart
reprinted from “…And They Shall Become One Flesh” available on Amazon.com in Kindle format.
Now Michal, Saul’s daughter, loved David… / … Michal, Saul’s daughter, looked through a window and saw King David leaping and whirling before the LORD; and she despised him in her heart. (1 Samuel 18: 20; 2 Samuel 6:16)
Dealing With External Pressures
Saul had originally intended to give Merab, his older daughter to David as wife, but instead gave her to Adriel. We’re given no indication whether David and Merab liked one another or not. However, we know that Michal loved David (1 Samuel 18:20, 28), and it appears that David loved Michal, as he paid double the dowry which Saul imposed (1 Samuel 18:25-27).
Of course, Saul’s desire was not for David and Michael to be married and live happily every after. In fact, it was not Saul’s intention to have them wed at all. He sought to use the marriage to his daughter as a means to destroy David by the hand of the Philistines (1 Samuel 18:2He
Their union placed both David and Michal in a difficult position. David was despised in the eyes of his father-in-law even prior to their marriage (1 Samuel 18:8-9, 11). Michal would now face the perpetual challenge of whether to honour her husband or her father. Due to the conflict between them, she could not do both.
In 1 Samuel 19, Saul’s anger was again kindled against David, and he sought to kill him. Michal proved faithful to her husband, aiding his escape from her father (1 Samuel 19:11-13). However, she did herself, her husband, her father, and the Lord a disservice when she lied to the messengers, and then to Saul (1 Samuel 19:14-17). Who knows if things may have worked out differently for their marriage had Michal stood up to her father that day.
Maintaining Faithfulness
There are times when the circumstances of life may require spouses to be apart. The threat of death against David was serious; and thus the couple parted for safety sake. However, being apart from one’s spouse comes with its own challenges and difficulties. God’s plan for a husband and wife is that they be together (Genesis 2:24) and that they render due affection to one another (1 Corinthians 7:3-5). It appears to be years between David’s departure through the window that night and the next time he would be with Michal.
While apart from one another, David and Michal both married others. 1 Samuel 25:42-43 speaks of David marrying Abigail and Ahinoam. A verse later, we read:
“…Saul had given Michal his daughter, David’s wife, to Palti the son of Laish…” (1 Samuel 25:44)
Was David’s action in response to Saul’s, or Saul’s in response to David’s? We do not know. Does it matter? No. Either way, David and Michal’s marriage would never be the same. In all, David ended up with eight wives (Michal, Ahinoam, Abigail, Maacah, Haggith, Abital, Eglah, Bathsheba). We don’t know when he married most of them, but we do know that his marriage to Bathshheba (2 Samuel 11:27) took place AFTER he was reunited with Michal (2 Samuel 3:1314).
An old adage states that “distance makes the heart grow founder.” That is only the case when faithfulness is maintained. However, if desire for the other dwindles, if eyes begin to wander or the heart finds passion for another, there is trouble on the horizon.
Love Turned To Loathing
The love which existed in the beginning between David and Michal fell under the attack of her father, their separation, and unfaithfulness. It appears that David was still interested in Michal, as he demanded that Ishbosheth return her to him (2 Samuel 3:13-14). Perhaps he thought the fire could be rekindled, perhaps he simply felt an obligation to care for her. What we know is that the relationship was not the same as before – it couldn’t be – for she was no longer the only woman whom he had affection for.
On the day when the ark of the LORD came into the city of David, Michal looked out the window “…and saw king David leaping and whirling before the LORD; and she despised him in her heart” (2 Samuel 6:16). What was the trouble? When he came to his house she confronted him,
“How glorious was the king of Israel today, uncovering himself today in the eyes of the maids of his servants, as one of the base fellows shamelessly uncovers himself!” (2 Samuel 6:20)
The disdain of 2 Samuel 6:16, coupled with this statement, perhaps show the stored up frustration and anger which she had towards David and his new wives. The writer links the fact that Michal had no children by David to the events and conversation of that day (2 Samuel 6:23; cf. 21:8). It may be that the LORD closed her womb, but it is more likely that David never again went in to her.
When Jonathan, Michal’s brother, died in battle, there was a statement made by David that reveals the disorder of his married life. He said,
“I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; you have been very pleasant to me; your love to me was wonderful, surpassing the love of women.” (2 Samuel 1:26)
His marriages were unfulfilling. None of his wives loved him as one might expect, nor did he love any of them with his whole heart. His affections were divided, and they were made to be competitors for him. With Jonathan, he shared a closer relationship (not romantic or sexual) than with any of his wives. Two’s company, nine’s a crowd!
