Question
After reading Elmer Moore’s article I have some concern regarding my own life. I divorced my husband , but their was no infidelity that I know about. He died 3 years later. Did I have the right to remarry? And since I did remarry, do I divorce my current husband because I am not scripurally married? I have studied and cannot get any peace. Can you help me?
Answer
It is refreshing to hear from someone honest enough to apply the truth of the Scriptures to your own life. I will give you an answer from Scripture. If you do not understand or if you disagree, feel free to respond.
The Lord forbids divorce except for fornication (Matthew 5:32; 19:3-9; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18; 1 Corinthians 7:10-11), and the only divorced person with a living former mate who may remarry is the one who divorced his/her spouse for fornication (Matthew 19:9). But death ends the marriage tie and the obligation to the spouse (Romans 7:2-3). Thus, your former husband’s death freed you to be married to another man without the stigma of adultery. You sinned, however, when you divorced your husband, and you need to repent of that sin, confess it to the Lord and to the church, and ask the Lord to forgive you (Acts 8:22; 1 John 1:9; James 5:16). But, since your former husband is dead, it would be as wrong to divorce your present husband as it was the first.
Response
Thanks for addressing my specific question.
The subject of remarriage has surfaced in my family because my nephew is going to marry a woman who was not scripturally divorced, and his parents are concerned that he will leave the church of Christ to join her denominational church. His sister, my niece, and her husband left their first spouses to marry each other forty-odd years ago. She also left the Church to join a denomination. If they are sorry can they stay married and live together? Our family is losing other young ones because of what appears to be harshness.
Reply
I appreciate your good question and your concern.
The Master faced the same skepticism when he first stated His law of divorce and remarriage (Matthew 19:9). His disciples thought it was too harsh (Matthew 19:10). The Lord acknowledged some lack the capacity to obey it and offered them an alternative – being a eunuch, in other words, celibacy (Matthew 19:11-12).
The capacity for people to rationalize sin is so great (Jeremiah 17:9), and the importance of a stable, righteous home so essential to raising godly children (Malachi 2:13-15), that the Lord hates divorce (Malachi 2:16).
If people have godly sorrow for their sin, they will repent (2 Corinthians 7:10). If they repent, they will give up the sin (Luke 3:8-14). Those who are unscripturally divorced and remarried are committing adultery (Matthew 19:9). They must turn from this sin.
The Lord would not relax His requirement even though His own disciples thought He was too harsh, and I certainly have no authority to relax the divine law.
