Author : William Stewart
reprinted from “…And They Shall Become One Flesh” available on Amazon.com in Kindle format.
Now it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked through a window and saw, and there was Isaac, showing endearment to Rebekah his wife. (Genesis 26:8)
The Sparks of Romance
It has been said that the Bible, especially in its narrative segments, offers the reader many intriguing facets of the human story. Indeed, there are stories (true stories) of deceit, betrayal, wars, treason, courage, overcoming great foes, etc.. Let us not forget the stories of love and romance. In all the narrative detail provided, there are lessons for us to learn, including the stories of love.
It would seem that Jacob fell for Rachel the moment he saw her! Genesis 29:11 tells us,
“Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice and wept.”
Genesis 29:18 & 20 confirm his great passion for her with statements that will make the heart of any woman melt.
Recall that God commanded the men of Israel to neither go out to war or be charged with any business after marrying, that he might
“…be free at home one year, and bring happiness to his wife whom he has taken.” (Deuteronomy 24:5)
God was interested in the sparks of romance igniting in the marriage relationship.
The Song of Solomon is an entire book about love and romance. It pictures the Shulamite woman and her beloved, who are enraptured with one another. There are segments of the book which may make some blush; but the book very effectively pictures the passion, enjoyment and romance which God desires to exist in the marriage relationship (Song of Solomon 2:8-9; 4:9-10).
When reading the book of Ruth, one can perceive a budding romance. Ruth and Boaz were married to perpetuate the name of Naomi’s deceased husband in Israel, but their words to one another reveal that a romantic interest was also present. From the very time he met Ruth, Boaz revealed his concern for her (Ruth 2:8-9, 11-12). It only grew from there. It brought joy to his heart when Ruth came to him for refuge (Ruth 3:10-11).
The story of Esther centers around a conspiracy by Haman to exterminate the Jews. It would seem that God providentially gave the young woman Esther as wife to King Ahasuerus. The king, unaware of the plot until near the end of the book, is quoted as saying on more than one occasion,
“What do you wish, Queen Esther? What is your request? It shall be given to you – up to half the kingdom!” (Esther 5:3; 7:2)
What a display and affirmation of his love for her!
Stoking The Fire
Romance does not belong to those who are young, but to those who are in love. As such, it is important to cultivate, water, and allow romance to flourish in our marriages. As Solomon gives advice to his son, he declared,
“Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times, and always be enraptured with her love.” (Proverbs 5:18-19)
Again, this wise king stated:
“Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 9:9)
You will have to forgive Solomon’s somewhat cynical manner in stating this truth. In the book of Ecclesiastes, we have the chronicle of his pursuit for purpose and happiness. He came to understand that life, without grasping our primary purpose (Ecclesiastes 12:13) is nothing but vanity. This however, does not negate God’s desire for us to “live joyfully with the wife whom you love,” but sets the context in which we should do so – in faithful service to God.
In Genesis 26:8, we find an instance of romantic affection between a mature Isaac and Rebekah. Abimelech, looking out his window saw “…Isaac, showing endearment to Rebekah his wife…”
The boys were grown up and out of the house; they had been married for several years; but the flame of love still burned in them for one another. What a beautiful picture!
How do we stoke the fire of romance in our relationship? Weekend getaways and fancy trips are enjoyable, but may not be practical for all. And, in the greater picture, these alone will fail to maintain romance in a relationship. We do not want a weekend of romance once every 5 years, but a culture of romance in the marriage.
Focus on the little things. A love note here; helping with a chore there. Give regular hugs and kisses. Take up a hobby with your spouse, because he / she is interested in it. Open the door for her. Cook his favourite meal. Make a phone call in the middle of the day, just to say “I love you.” Enjoy a picnic for two. Take a quiet night time walk. Give her flowers or chocolates. The list goes on. The key is to focus on your spouse, not yourself; to serve one another – to look out for the other’s interests. Regular deposits in the love bank will result in greater interest and rewarding returns.
