Author : William Stewart
reprinted from “…And They Shall Become One Flesh” available on Amazon.com in Kindle format.
Let nothing be done for selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. (Philippians 2:3-4)
Selfishness And Misuse
In the book of Hebrews, we read:
“And what more shall I say? For the time would fail me to tell of Gideon and Barak and Samson and Jephthah… who through faith subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouth of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness became valiant in battle, turned to flight the armies of aliens.” (Hebrews 11:32-34)
Certainly, some of these accomplishments can be found in the life of Samson, and yet it seems awkward for him to be listed in the “hall of faith.” But, there he is!
As commendable as some of Samson’s actions were, and as much good as was accomplished through him for the people of Israel in the days of the Judges, he was not an example for men to follow with regard to marriage. Whether it be his relationship with Delilah (Judges 16), the woman of Timnah (Judges 14:1-15:6) or the harlot in Gaza (Judges 16:1), Samson’s brute conduct leaves much to be desired.
It is noteworthy that we are not specifically told that Samson and Delilah were married. It is evidence that they at least dwelt together, whether married or not. But why were they together? What brought Samson to Delilah? What attracted Delilah to Samson? For Samson, it does not appear to be the mutual intimacy and care which God describes for marriage (Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:22-33; etc.). He wanted the Timnite woman because she pleased him (Judges 14:2, 3, 7). Companionship? Hardly. The text indicates that he spent more time apart from her than with her (Judges 14:8, 19-20; 15:1-2). Perhaps Judges 16:1 identifies what Samson’s interest in women was,
“…Samson went to Gaza and saw a harlot there, and went in to her.”
Could Samson’s interest in women have been merely sexual satisfaction?
What of Delilah’s love for Samson? Was it authentic? No sooner were she and Samson together but we see the lords of the Philistines asking her to hasten his destruction, and she was willing.
“Entice him, and find out where his great strength lies, and by what means we may overpower him, that we may bind him and afflict him; and every one of us will give you eleven hundred pieces of silver.” (Judges 16:5)
Was she with Samson for love, or for gain? Immediately we’re told,
“So Delilah said to Samson, ‘Please tell me where your great strength lies, and with what you may be bound to afflict you.'” (Judges 16:6; cf. v 10, 13)
Eventually, we are told that she “…pestered him daily…” about it (Judges 16:16). What a relationship! He was with her for sexual gratification, and she was with him for financial gain. They were together, not to serve the other and benefit the other, but to get what each could get from the other.
Honesty And Integrity
Honestly and integrity are foundational elements in any relationship, but especially so in the husband/wife relationship. If a man cannot trust his wife with the private issues of his life, or vice versa, how can the two be one flesh?
It is evident that Samson did not trust Delilah. Multiple times she asked him the source of his great strength, and how it might be subdued – he did not trust her with such information. Sadly, he was right not to trust her. Her inquiry was completely devoid of integrity. It would be akin to asking, for the purpose of entrapment, what sins another struggles with.
Three times she accuses him of lying (Judges 16:10, 13, 15). She is right, he did lie. But three times and much more, she was guilty of manipulation and conspiracy against her “lover” (Judges 16:6, 10, 13, 16). Finally, she made an emotional appeal,
“How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when your heart is not with me?” (Judges 16:15)
Such is an example of the mess that exists when a relationship is “built” upon sexual appetite, greediness and the like, rather than mutual love, affliction, and concern for one another.
The end result? Delilah received her money (Judges 16:18); Samson lost his eyes and was cast into prison (Judges 16:21); and eventually lost his life (Judges 16:30).
