Author : William Stewart
reprinted from “…And They Shall Become One Flesh” available on Amazon.com in Kindle format.
Get wisdom! Get understanding! Do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth. Do not forsake her, and she will preserve you; love her, and she will keep you. Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom. And in all of your getting, get understanding. (Proverbs 4:5-7)
Working On Our Character
I am not certain that two people could be any more opposite than Nabal and Abigail. The writer describes Abigail as a woman of “good understanding and beautiful appearance,” but her husband, Nabal, as “harsh and evil in his doings” (1 Samuel 25:3). What was it that brought these two together, we do not know. It has been said by some that opposites attract, but surely that doesn’t explain why this fine woman was with such a brute of a man. Was it an arranged marriage? Did some circumstance in life change either her for the better or him for the worse? Was it the case that she did not really meet the real Nabal until after they had entered the bond of matrimony? We do not know.
Regardless what brought them together, they, like all married couples had the responsibility to work together – to help each other to grow and mature. It will often be that one spouse will have strengths in one area while the other is skilled in another. We need to use our strengths to build our partner’s weaknesses.
Nabal was a successful businessman, having 3,000 sheep and 1,000 goats. Though it is written that he provided for his own very well, one of his servants characterized him as “…such a scoundrel that one cannot speak to him” (1 Samuel 25:17).
This was said of him because though his men received aid from David’s men (1 Samuel 25:15-16, 21), his shrewd (or should we say foolish) business sense led him to reject David. Not only did he reject David and his men, but he reviled him – calling him a renegade servant (1 Samuel 25:10-11).
Protecting Your Spouse
After she heard of her husband’s rash words to David, Abigail sprang into action. She prepared a gift for David and his men, and sent her servant with haste to go and meet him. She approached David with humility and a plea for mercy (1 Samuel 25:23ff). All that Nabal was not willing to do for David (ie. give honour, pay wages, etc.), Abigail did. Speaking to David, Abigail referred to “…this scoundrel Nabal…” (1 Samuel 25:25). She continued, “…as his name is, so is he: Nabal is his name, and folly is with him.”
Should a wife speak like that about her husband? Understand, she was not speaking evil of him; she was calling a spade a spade, and doing so for Nabal’s own protection and preservation. To stand in defense of her husband and justify his faults would have been to participate in his folly.
Notice, as she spoke to David, she claimed the iniquity of her husband as her own (1 Samuel 25:24, 28). Though she was not guilty of his actions, she was not going to abandon him. And, Abigail understood that Nabal’s actions would have brought destruction upon the whole household. Thus, she stood in defense of her husband and her family (1 Samuel 25:33-34).
Acting Without Consulting
We have noted previously that it is profitable to have open communication in the marriage relationship, and that decisions and actions should be discussed by both husband and wife. That said, Abigail acted completely without her husband’s knowledge. Did she ignore his authority in the home? Did she step out of line by acting without his knowledge or authorization? Those who would reason thus are willing to permit and endorse a man to destroy his family, all under the guise of headship. A man who is not leading his household as he ought to must change, but his wife is not expected to sit by and watch her husband destroy their family in the meantime. In Abigail’s case, she couldn’t even tell him what she had done when she returned home, for the worthless man’s “…heart was merry within him, for he was very drunk…” (1 Samuel 25:36). Yes, Abigail acted without Nabal’s authorization, and according to David, her quick action without Nabal’s knowledge was of the Lord (1 Samuel 25:32-33).
