This past week, I have had the joy of preparing for a wedding ceremony which I am to perform this weekend. I will be sharing with the young couple and the audience some important lessons from God's word relative to beginning and maintaining a successful marriage. Let us consider some significant matters that will make and keep our marriages happy and healthy.

FOR THE GROOM/HUSBAND:
"For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church..." (Ephesians 5:23)

The leadership of the home is your responsibility -- fulfill your commitment. You are to be the spiritual leader. No greater mandate can a man meet than to correctly lead his household in the way of the Lord. You are to be the provider. As the head of the house, you are charged with furnishing your wife with sufficient means whereby your mutual physical needs are met. You are to be the decision maker. You have been called to leadership, not dictatorship. Do not use this duty as a means for self-serving, but to serve both the Lord and your wife faithfully and prudently.

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her." (Ephesians 5:25)

Your wife is to be the object of unselfish and sacrificial love. Christ provided a supreme and perfect example as He "...gave Himself for..." the church. Give yourself for your wife. In exchanging vows with this woman, you have promised to love her in like manner as the Lord loves the church. The Lord's life and death were for the eternal benefit of the church. Live and love her in such a fashion that she will be honoured in this life and forever blessed in the next.

"...sanctify and cleanse her ... not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself." (Ephesians 5:26-28)

Pursue holiness, and in your pursuit of holiness, be a support to your wife, that she with you might be holy and without blemish. Treat your wife with the respect and honour that you would be treated. Do not turn the beautiful rose you have married into a thorn bush by mistreatment. Your relationship is undefiled and perfect before the Lord, keep it that way.

"For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church." (Ephesians 5:29)

Peter refers to the wife as the weaker vessel (1 Peter 3:7). Thus, it is your obligation to strengthen and uphold her. Your loving conduct and encouraging words should be to the end that she will be built up. The softest side of your character should be intimately known by her, and a source of security to her. If you would be treated like a king in your home, treat her as your queen!

FOR THE BRIDE/WIFE:
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ... just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everthing." (Ephesians 5:22, 24)

Your husband is instructed by the Lord to be the head over you. He instructs you to submit to this headship. Your task is made easier if your husband shows love as he ought. Conversely, it is easier for your husband to love you as he ought if you are in submission to him.

"Nevertheless let each one of you in particular love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." (Ephesians 5:33)

The word translated "respects" is from the Greek phobeo, meaning fear, awe or reverence. In verses 22 & 24, Paul deals with the woman's responsibility so far as action. Here, the apostle addresses the attitude that will result in this conduct. As you express your respect for your husband, it will bolster his love for you. As he expresses his love for you, it will increase your respect for him.

"He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD." (Proverbs 18:22)

Realize that your husband chose to marry you because in his eyes, you were "a good thing". Ensure that you are. Be the best wife that you are capable of being, and thus you will be helping him be the best husband he can be. "Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." (Proverbs 31:10-12) Please continue to read the text (10-31). You would do well (and do your husband well) to imitate the character and works expressed.

FOR THE COUPLE:
Solomon writes, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken." (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

The joys of life will be doubled, for you have each other to share them. The sorrows of life will be halved, for you have each other to bear them. You will both be stronger because of the marriage bond you have entered. However, to ensure success, both the husband and wife must place serving the Lord as priority. Then, He will be the third strand in the union, making it unbreakable, even in the most trying times.

Know that in saying, "I do", you do not pledge your faithfulness "...for as long as love shall last." This phrase has become popular in wedding vows today, but your covenant is a lifelong commitment. "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." (Matthew 19:4-6) Therefore, determine that you will work through problems, not around them. Don't run away from troubles, overcome them.